My novel-in-progress is about 10 years old, a dream that started when my oldest child was born. In the beginning, all I wanted was my story to drift upon paper. I didn’t censor or edit myself during this tumultuous time. As a brand-new mother I was already vulnerable to low self-esteem, a constant doubt that rippled through my days. Am I good enough to do any of this?
The one urge that kept me driven was my passion for writing this story. It didn’t matter to me, at the time, if it was publishable material. I only cared about building this nether world and a community of characters who would never, from that first day, leave me alone.
Fast forward about two years, and I was determined to publish my book. But I knew it wasn’t going to soar as is. So, I started taking classes, workshops. I attended conferences, joined a writer’s group, networked. Shared my story with others.
I have revised it based on feedback from fellow writers as well as my own decisions. I have gone through close to a dozen drafts. Some drafts were a reworking from cover to cover; some drafts were solely about character overhaul or a subplot alteration. Regardless, each draft had a large enough scope and influence that twisted the work into a different story than what I first wanted to write. There were changes I made because I doubted myself. Then there were changes I made that I ‘unmade’ and reverted back to the original idea. There were omissions I made that I still grieve, and there are additions that make me proud.
As I consider the history, the making of this novel I realize—with some regret, some satisfaction–that the current version is nothing like my original version, the one I wrote when my daughter napped.
I recently read a thought-provoking post on Even More BonusParts regarding the difference between being an artist or a craftsperson. I don’t know if I’ve spent the past 10 years on this story as an artist or as a craftsperson.
As an artist, I fell in love with the story and the universal message it shares. This is the story that got me writing again after I lost my courage to write. Even after 10 years of nurturing it, I have not lost my passion for it nor my faith that it’s a good story.
As a craftsperson, I veered away from (most of) my original story idea because word count was too high, plot had too many holes, not enough action upfront, unclear character motivation—killing fields for a book I want published.
All of this makes me think about the word vision in the term revision. Perhaps revision isn’t a dismantling of an idea, but a refinement. A propping up of the original vision, brushing off the grime and scrubbing it until it glows all shiny-brand-new. Like chrome on an antique car.
I’d like to think that the changes I made were not at the mercy of my weaknesses as a person, but at the mercy of my inexperience and timidity as a writer. I’d like to think, as Mayumi suggests, that my story is the result of a blending of artistry and crafts‘wo’manship. That as I rewrote this story, I learned more about the art and the craft of writing. That the original vision is still there, but dressed to go out.
“Am I good enough to do any of this?”, ah, please don’t ask this question again. Of course you are! Keep revising and I’m sure one day you’ll get the novel published!
Subhan Zein
I am much more confident and self-assured now, so that kind of a thought is history! Thanks for your encouragement.
Hmm…interesting distinction between artist and craftperson. I think any good book demands the author be a bit of both: an artist for the vision and depth, a craftperson for the finetuning and finesse.
Me too. As long as we devote the time and effort, and we are willing to learn how to write a compelling story then we are being both the artist and the craftsperson. Thanks for stopping by.
I can relate to your journey… I started my first novel when my second child went to preschool at age 3. It was two mornings a week, and I had about two hours of that time to write. The next few years were writing and rewriting, getting critiqued and revising. After attending writers’ workshops and querying a few agents, I decided to shelve mine… I think I’ve learned so much in the “craft” department that I can see the errors and yet feel that there are too many changes to make to turn that one into a “marketable” novel.
While I believe that many of us have a natural talent for writing, learning and honing the craft of writing is a long, winding road. I’m finding that we can always, always learn more and improve. Congrats on your dedication and improvement through craft… and good luck with the publishing process!
It really is a long, winding road. And it is so easy to stray right off it when the going gets tough. That must have been a hard decision for you to shelve your book, but I think we always know what is the right thing to do in our hearts. Sometimes we just need to get one written to show ourselves it can be done, before we are able to sit down and write the one that will work better in both the “artistry” realm and the “craft” realm.
Thanks for your kind words. I’m getting there!
Seeing as several people (including you!) have been talking about inspirational quotes lately, I shall throw another one at you here – I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but again, it is one that is about life in general but could be applied specifically to other things (just replace ‘life’ with ‘novel’) –
Sometimes we have to let go of the life we planned, in order to accept the life that is waiting for us.
Vanessa, that’s a good quote to remember. It resonates with another one that I am fond of saying, “If you don’t get lost, you can never be found”.
Ooh, I like that one, too Paul. It reminds me of the simple fact that we can only learn from mistakes.
That’s a good one too Paul. There are so many slushy meaningless quotes around, I do try and remember the good ones…I’ll add that one to my list.
That is a great quote, and very apropos (did I spell that right??) to the post! It’s almost like making peace with the writing process. Thanks for sharing it!
What you are describing is how the creative process goes, apart from those lucky people who apparently write a polished gem first off – I hate them! I love your image of the vision ‘dressed up to go out!’ The artist and the craftsperson need each other.
I can relate to your story as well. My WIP had its germ in an experience when I was sixteen, and I started writing it as a novel on my MA in Creative Writing twelve years ago. I lost my way when too many people were allowed in to give their opinion, so that my own voice became confused and finally silenced for a while.
Now, I am writing the novel again, but for myself. I’m very clear about that. I have an eye for form and what will sell, but my voice has to be my own, or I can’t go on. That’s why at the moment I’m not looking for critique from outside, but to satisfy my own inner artist and critic. I need to be very sure I’m true to myself before I can invite others in. I am pretty sure that reflects my own insecurities and low self-esteem as a writer, but so be it.
My novel has changed so much it’s as if I have written about five novels about the same characters and setting!
Hi Amanda,
haha, I’m not too fond of those gifted writers either
I know exactly what you mean about letting too many people see your novel too soon. It’s like that old saying, ‘too many cooks spoil the soup’ or something to that effect. I had a writing teacher warn about such a danger, and to make it a policy never to share your first draft with anyone. Not even a trusted writing partner. So, it sounds like this time around you are holding it close to your chest. That’s a smart move! I totally agree that your voice has to be your own–originality is what will sell faster than what’s hot now.
Honestly? Seems like most writers are insecure and suffer from low self-esteem–so you’re in good company.
Love what you had to say here: “My novel has changed so much it’s as if I have written about five novels about the same characters and setting!” I echo that two times over!
Thanks for chiming in!
Kathryn, i like what Vanessa had to say. Think it’s true…And at the end of the novel writing day, you know best–be it now or after some time–which version is the “right” one.
Absolutely, Kathryn. That quote says it all. And it is important for an author to gain confidence with her work. If that means she needs to revise and revise again, then so be it. Thanks for commenting!
It seems like we all struggle with this idea of what’s “best” for us as artists in love with our story, versus us as professionals who want to see a return from all of our hard work. It’s a tightrope act, definitely. You sound like you’re in a much better place with your writing, now, though, and that’s so, so important.
I do hope that you still have that original draft laying around somewhere! There is something so wonderfully visceral about a first draft, that revisions – no matter how skillful or honed – can never seem to recapture. (At least, that’s what’s happened with mine.)
Be it electronic or hardcover, I look forward to having your book on my shelf!
Hi Mayumi,
My approach to my dream certainly has changed shape over the years. I am much more sensible, more patient, and more skilled (at least I think I am). Seeing my book out in public is still important, but I have to be proud of my work.
I love that, ‘visceral’. And I think that’s really true. We tend to write straight from our hearts in that first draft, pausing and hesitating over very little. We just feel that need to get the story written.
And you are simply too sweet. I look forward to having my book on your shelf, too
Thanks for stopping by!
Based on the title alone, I had to check out the post. What a journey (sorry for the overused word!) you have been on. The distinction between artist and craftsmanship is intriguing…I will have to click the link. I remember the dismay, that after a year of rewriting, my mother read my newest draft and said, “I like the other one better.”
I still wonder about Ben and Ally and what happened to them. It’s been over a year since I’ve read about them – you must have a keeper!
Hey Amy,
Overused or not, journey would be the right word I think. It’s a really interesting post, so do read it when you get a chance. I recall you telling me about your mom’s reaction, and I remember feeling partly guilty, lol, because I had encouraged you to make some of those changes.
I have thought about that a couple of times since, and I think to myself how she would have reacted to the second draft had she not been your mom. Some part of me wonders if the original story resonated with her because it was your heart, right on the page. You wrote it as Amy, her daughter, not Amy, the writer. Does that make sense? Like Mayumi mentions above–I think it is that first draft that is so honest, so true, so us, that you really can’t echo it in subsequent drafts.
I think if you were to read my latest draft of Spark, you would see some things that stayed the same but the overall scope has changed drastically. Man, I can’t even remember what Ben and Ally were doing when you read it last!?!
When I read this Post from Kate, I was aware of two reactions inside me. The first was just sheer admiration of the persistence shown from keeping that love affair alive over so many years. The second was raw fear that my own efforts to keep a non-fiction book project going will fail at the first hurdle!
Long-winded way of saying what an interesting Post that was!
Hi Paul,
I think it is good to feel the fear though. It means you’re taking this jaunt seriously. I honestly mean that. Too often, I see cavalier writers who pen a book and call it a day. They throw it up on Amazon and consider themselves ‘authors’. Now, this might sound very mean-spirited, but I have found that by experiencing fear and struggling for years, I became more dedicated to reaching my dream. That’s not to say I didn’t stumble and fall, because I did. But what matters is that I came back to writing, and I am much stronger for it now.
So, don’t give up Paul!
Wow. Such a great post. As a writer, I really needed to hear this today.
Hi Amelia,
I’m so glad this post was meaningful to you. It’s one of those things that’s always on my mind but hard to express around the more pressing concerns of writing. Writing it made me feel better, too
Thanks for stopping by.
I try not to scare myself by thinking of the revisions I still have to make to my first novel to craft it into the best it can be. I can’t give up on it—I know the idea and stories in it are good. But the second novel needs to come first. “One bird at a time.” (Oops, now the characters will all start fighting for their turn….!)
The fact that you’ve stayed with “Spark” for 10 years also attests to the strength of the characters and their core story that you originally created. Without that strength, I don’t think many of us could stick with writing, revising, and polishing a work for any length of time. I didn’t know Ben and Ally before this year, but even if major elements of the book have changed, I bet they were still engaging characters in earlier versions.
And, yes, you are definitely good enough (and more) to do this!
That’s a great point, JM. I hadn’t thought about the fact that I stayed with “Spark” for so long might be because of the strength of the story–not just my love affair with it
Ben and Ally were quite different in the beginning compared to now. But I think their core personalities, and certainly their core conflict was the same.
Aww, thanks, I appreciate your kind words. I feel much more confident the more I practice, that’s for sure. I think that’s the trick.
Thanks for chiming in!
I think that, like all things, the sweet spot is in the middle, where the two things balance. First draft is very much about the artist in me, and it lives quite vibrantly still in later drafts, but once that first draft is done, the craftsman in me is there to to smooth away the rough edges, to polish until it gleams, so that the artistic part of me in the work can simply be seen more clearly.
Of course, the hard part is knowing when you’ve hit that balance and not overshooting it.
I’m still working on that part. I’ll let you know if I ever get it down.
And I love the idea that revision is just refining the original vision, just a beautiful idea.
I like the idea of “not overshooting” the balance. You’re right, of course. I think it is very easy to revise and revise because a work of art really is never complete. We can always find something to change, so this means we have to try extremely hard to be in tune with the story.
Thanks for stopping by.
I can’t wait to see your WIP all dressed up and ‘out on the town.’
Aww, thanks Char. It’ll be quite the day when that happens!
Thanks for clarifying the difference between an artist and a craftsperson… I hadn’t thought about that before. The key for all of us is figuring out the perfect combination of both. I’m still working on that. Probably always will!
Hi Natalie,
I hadn’t really thought about it before, either. But once I did, it seemed so obvious to me that we should all strive for a balance because writing requires the best of both.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
Congrats you so deserve it. I am so glad you stopped by my blog. At one point I hope to become an author as well.
Hi Jackie,
Your blog is quite enjoyable. I love the pictures you post and the positive message of your blog. It’s uplifting. I always cheer people on who want to be authors, so if that’s what you want, then I say go for it!
Have a funtabulous day
Dismantling vs refinement…you bring it out so well.Thanks for sharing this inspirational post.Very refreshing!
Hi Blazing,
Well, thank you very much. I’m glad you found some energy through it! Have a wonderful day. Kate
You too!
When you pants a novel, you do tend to end up writing lots of drafts. It’s near impossible to just write it perfectly the first time. I think plotting and outlining gives a better chance for a (near) perfect first draft, if only because you can clearly see what you are working with. Fully developed characters, premise, plot, subplot, etc. When an entire novel is left to float around in your head, it’s really hard to get it all out while writing it.
You’ve definitely come a long way with all of those drafts. The most difficult part of revision is letting go of your precious gems. If it won’t work, let it go! When I have to get rid of an idea, character, or subplot, I make a note of it somewhere. Never know when it can come in handy, and fit perfectly into another story.
Great post. Thanks for sharing. I especially liked your last two paragraphs.
Yes, I have a folder entitled “Little Darlings” although I switch up the title when I feel restless. It is filled with all those omissions from my novel that I did the novel no good, but could probably be useful in another project. This way, I don’t feel like I’m wasting what I think are fabulous ideas, lol
Thanks so much for stopping by
Your post nicely expresses what I’ve gone through with my novels. I start with one idea, and hopefully, to be improved with rewrites. If only we could get it right the first time around. How much we could get done.
Hi Myth,
Yes, how much could we get done?! I don’t want to think about it, I’ll get depressed, lol. A lot of work goes into these revisions, it can take us down for the count if we’re not careful.
Thanks for commenting!
I wasn’t thinking about being depressed, but you’re right. Enjoy the journey, no regrets about the past.
Harboring no regrets is a tough thing to do, so when we’re successful–it’s that much sweeter
First of all I would just like to say that I am impressed, and happy, that you followed your vision and came all this way with your manuscript! Revision is hard and many novels need a lot of work before they are ready. Even if it can feel as if you lose some of the original artistic vision the core material is still there – only dressed in a fancier suit (just as you said!). Whatever you do – it will be awesome!
Hey Fredrik, I’m happy I kept going, too. Revision can really sap the life out of an author, which is probably why so many give up. I feel proud that I have stuck it out, but admittedly nervous about the changes and hoping I made the right choices. We’ll see!
Thanks for commenting.
It’s a long journey but you’ll get there! I think sometimes we make changes for the sake of changes so we need to make sure we’re improving not just changing but that’s a hard distinction. I’ve made changes with no idea if they’re better or not but I guess we have to trust our gut. Good luck with the story!
Hi Victoria,
You’re right. We have to trust our gut. That does take practice, I think, and with revision come lots and lots of practice!
Thanks for stopping by.
It won’t let me “like” it (again). So consider this “liked.”
Hey Shannon, actually your “like” went through! Huzzah!
The only response I seem able to produce is “huh.”
I really like that last line “…but dressed to go out.” Your description brings to mind the phrase “labor of love.”
Now I want to see it.
Hi Carol,
Aw, thanks. And you’re right, ‘labor of love’ is definitely a way to describe this journey.
Haha, soon, very soon.
Lots of thoughts provoked by this great post, Kate. I think you summed it up well when you said the vision is the art and the craft makes it “dressed to go out.” I’m looking forward to reading a post from you that’s called “A Dream Realized”!
Hi Darla,
Good one: “A Dream Realized”. Now, that would be a great banner post! I’ll keep that in mind.
I know what this is like and spent about the same number of years on a novel (shelved for now but not for long). It can be frustrating changing something, then changing it back, then changing it again. But I do think that the longer we work on these things and the more love we put into them, the better they will be. It also really helps to put them away for a while. So even if it doesn’t always seem like it, it’ll all be worth it.
Hi Sheila,
I love hearing from other writers that they too have spent +/- decade on their novels, only to question whether it will end up going anywhere. It’s good to know your thoughts on this, because I do worry that I’ve overdone it, reworked it until it is no longer the original story, and now what. Hearing that it could be better, simply better, is heartening. Thank you.