Opportunity
is turning left when the sign
tells you to turn right
Over the years I have missed multiple opportunities. Mostly these chances had to do with my writing in one way or another. I always had an excuse, a reason, to not take advantage and so the opportunity would slip by untouched, unlived, like a blossom that never unfurls.
Missing an opportunity is seemingly harmless. It’s easy to say, well, it’s not like I’m losing anything by not following up on such-and-such because I didn’t have it in the first place. But it’s easy to forget opportunity can lead you down unbeaten paths, open doors that might have otherwise been closed and locked to us. If we don’t follow up on something that avails itself to us, then we won’t ever know if we’d want to make it a part of our lives forever. We also won’t know what it’s like to take a risk.
I’m a firm believer in that opportunity is a regular visitor to everyone. But we don’t always recognize it. Opportunity is notorious for visiting in disguise, appearing as though it won’t be beneficial to your life, or seem too complicated or risky to take on. In fact, I’m willing to bet that the best, most fulfilling opportunities are the ones that are difficult to fit into your schedule, the ones for which you have to sacrifice something.
And yet, there is something to be said for balance. Unless I’m independently wealthy and have oodles of time on my hands (the word ‘bored’ could again become part of my daily vocab), I obviously can’t accept every opportunity that comes my way. I have to be discerning, which means I really need to examine the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether or not I can fit this into my crammed life, if it will be an enriching experience.
I still cringe over a decision I made 15 years ago that could have changed the course of my life. A rare offer was made to me, but I declined because it was bad timing. It was inconvenient. I would have had to give up much of my life as I knew it, move to another part of the country, say goodbye to family, friends, a new boyfriend, yada, yada, yada.
Looking back, I am fully aware of what I missed out on, and that my life would be completely different today had I accepted. Now, mind you, I’m not saying it would be better, just different. And that’s something we have to consider when opportunity knocks.
When faced with a tough decision, ask yourself about your goals. Are you looking to change your life? Or are you looking to enrich your life? Consider all angles. Don’t only think about the short-term impact, because that is likely to be detrimental anyway. Make sure you examine how this opportunity can affect your life over the long-term. Do you think you can endure the sacrifices if the pay-off in the next 10, 14, 23 years is worth the struggle? Will you learn something new? Could this be a life experience, a cultural education or would it merely be a mediocre lesson, a passing of time?
Be honest about whether you’re living your life the way you always dreamed, imagined, wanted. You need to know if this opportunity will help you on your chosen path, or if it will lead you astray. And, if it does lead you astray—ask yourself if that might be a positive change. Sometimes, we run into obstacles on our chosen paths, and you need to detour for a bit before you can get back on track.
What is especially important to remember is that we are blessed as human beings to have choices. Gifts from the universe. Accept them graciously, open them carefully, and use them joyfully.
“Opportunity does not trouble dead men, or dead ones who flatter themselves that they are alive.” Elbert Hubbard
How about you? Have you ever regretted a missed opportunity? Do you take advantage of as many opportunities as you can?
Beautifully said, Kate. It would be easier with a crystal ball handy…but then, where would the fun be in that?
Hi Fandina,
Ah yes, the mystery of our future would definitely be at stake. It’s funny you say that because I often pass a fortuneteller when I’m downtown and I wonder, what if…
But I have not gone in. I did have my cards read once, but that was so long ago and none of what she told me panned out. But is that because knowing what my future possibly held, did I avoid certain choices? It’s an interesting thought. So, maybe fate plays by whim more than we think.
Thought provoking post today, Kate. Sometimes, some “opportunities” could prove to be a “disaster” while some “disasters” could prove to be “opportunities.”
Hi Christy,
I think that is always the question on my mind when I weigh decisions. (I’m a Libra, and we’re notorious for indecision.) But in truth I constantly wonder whether the opportunity would change my life for the better or worse–in any case, an opportunity would change my life, period.
Thanks for stopping by!
“Now, mind you, I’m not saying it would be better, just different. ” Excellent quote, and a good point to remember. Some friends and I were talking about things we would have done differently, opportunites we missed. I told them that even changing one thing, something they might think as tiny, would impact so many other things and we probably wouldn’t be standing where we were, talking about it. They argued until I told them to take a moment and think . . . if I had done this instead of that then . . . It’s amazing how many different paths our lives *could have* gone down.
Hi Kathils,
Oh, absolutely! All those seemingly inconsequential decisions are a small part of huge turns in the grand scheme of life. I also believe in the domino effect, that one choice kicks off a whole string of events. If you were to have made the opposite choice, then the string of events would be completely different, thereby taking you on a totally different course.
You’re right. Our lives are open to an infinite number of paths, and fate or choice, whichever philosophy you choose to believe, both are responsible in their own way.
Thanks for swinging by.
Oh, so very true. Moving from Illinois to Maryland for a new job for my husband was a complete leap of faith. Other than one vacation to Colonial Williamsburg and Virginia Beach, neither of us had been to the Mid-Atlantic before. But it turned out to be the best decision for us. We love it here.
And Kathlis’s points are exactly the underlying ideas in my one WIP
What’s really hard is when we don’t have much time to decide whether to embark on that new course. It’s one thing to have time to think through a decision. It’s another when we have a quick deadline.
Excellent thought-provoking post!
Hey JM,
That’s a perfect example. Moving for a new job can be so monumentally stressful, a lot of people might balk and decide not to go through with it. And when you stop to think about how different your life would be had you not moved…I think you’d find an incredible difference.
You bring up a great point. Thinking on a deadline is difficult to do, and can often lead to indecision. I hate making rash decisions because I’m such a planner and a strategist in most areas of my life. However, a deadliine does force us to act on instinct rather than caution, which makes a big difference.
That’s so cool about your WIP. I think you alluded to that somewhere around Blogosphere
. I love ideas like this anyway, so reading a novel that deals with such a fascinating philosophy would be very interesting. Can’t wait!
teasing jmmcdowell
just imagine if you had moved to New England
Kathryn Johnston – enjoy your post!
I love the line, “I’m a firm believer in that opportunity is a regular visitor to everyone.” I believe that too – it’s everywhere, for everyone. We are so lucky to live in America where we have more opportunities every single day than most people all over the world have their entire lives. I try to remember that when I’m dissatisfied. Recently I was asked to write a freelance article and I said, no, no, no, I HAVE to FOCUS – no more articles until I get my book done. But something about the subject made me change my mind.
This is currently my problem – accept assignments that might help me in the future or focus on the WIP? I’m glad I accepted this latest one. She gave me a great interview, inspired me, and gave me an editor contact for a more in-depth article that actually pays. So…yes, TAKE those opportunities when they come. Unless you shouldn’t
It really is about balance. The flip side is I’m still glad I didn’t take an opportunity ten years ago that would have given me more prestige, money, and career. I’m still glad I decided to be a mother. Motherhood has not given me prestige or money, but it was the best career move. In the end, it’s the best opportunity I’ve ever had, even if it precluded more status in the world. Some people would think that’s crazy, but I’ve never doubted for a second that that was what I was supposed to do. Trust thine self.
Great, thought-provoking post!
Hey Amy,
Wow, that is a fantastic lead. I’m so happy you accepted it. And this is the thing–we just don’t know until we’re in it if that was the right choice to make. That’s why exploring the opportunity helps a lot.
I bet your kids are glad you decided to be a mother, too.
I think I needed to read this this morning…I’ve been feeling very intimidated lately by the number of things that are making up my recent opportunities and it would be very easy to just pass them by with the idea that I’m not losing anything…except that I suspect I would be. Thanks for the boost!
Hi Em,
Oh, I know that feeling of intimidation. Suddenly you just don’t have any idea which step to take for fear of making the wrong step. I believe that most opportunities offer growth, and I really think that the ones that seem the most difficult to take on are the ones that would be best for us. Try one, just one, and see what happens.
You’re welcome
Kate, This is so true… reminds me of Sliding Doors. I definitely believe that we are offered so many opportunities. I would say that even in my family’s social life, I wonder if turning down a trip to the park or a baseball game is a memory missed… but again–the time element is an issue. If only I didn’t have to sleep! ; )
I do use visualization (sounds so New Age!) when I consider opportunities. I am considering going back to full-time work after almost 12 years (12 years!!!) at home with kids. I am trying to visualize how much that will change things… for me, and my goals, and my family, and meals, and my novel-in-progress, and my running… these are tough decisions. And unfortunately, there is no one standing there telling us the “right” path the choose.
Good luck as you consider your opportunities.
Hi Anne,
Right on, even the smallest event could be more meaningful than we possibly imagined. Time and sleep definitely have to be considered!
Visualization is a good idea. Wow, going back to work after 12 years would be a huge life change. You do have to make tough decisions with that choice, and it’s especially hard when you have to factor in other people besides yourself. Family well-being always colors my choices and I usually end up making the choice that is best for them, and not necessarily best for me. (Except for writing. That has been my topmost selfish decision.)
Thanks, and good luck to you, too!
The kind of re-evaluation you suggest is what kicked me back into writing all the time, into treating it like a job I do every day. I wasn’t happy with my life and where it was leading me. So now I write. We’ll see where it leads me.
Hey Julie,
See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. When we can step back and really analyze the ins and outs of our situation then we are more able to formulate the right choice. Sounds like you made a good decision, especially if it led you out of an unhappy life and into a joyful one. That, in itself, tells me that you are headed in the right direction.
Thanks! I hope things work out as I have planned, but even if they don’t, I feel like the happier place I’m in is worth it either way.
To be honest, I wish everyone that right direction and good feeling. )
Definitely, being happy with our lives is most important. I’m with you, we’ll spread those good wishes to all!
I like that Hubbard quote, Kathryn
I suppose every experience or event, every decision time, is an opportunity. Thank you for this today. And i agree with you that opportunities are gifts. And those gifts, though different from each other, keep coming. You enjoy your week 
Hi Kathryn,
I love that quote, too. I think I like it most because it is a little tongue-in-cheek–you know, as if my mentor is scolding me for letting life pass me by.
Perfectly said–the gifts do keep coming, and we need to open our eyes and enjoy the ride.
Thanks, I hope you enjoy yours, too!
Ah, the beautiful conundrum of divergent realities.
I sense a hesitation bubbling beneath the surface of this post (could it be about your novel request?), but you bring up lots of good points that we should consider, perhaps more often/more regularly than we do so.
Some of us are raised to live our lives with cautious prudence; others of us grow up leaping from one challenge to the next, regardless of the consequences. I see the value in both. We’ve got just the one life, though. So, while some might say take the chance, and some might say play it safe and plan, I like to think we make our own chances.
Great post, Kate!
Hi Mayumi,
Ah, yes, this post spawned from my most recent tough decision. I definitely have been thinking hard about that particular choice, which in turn made me think about choices/decisions/opportunities in general. You’re quite astute!
That’s true, there is value in being cautious as much as throwing that caution to the wind. Sometimes, I tell myself I overthink too much and because of my analytical nature I tend to talk myself out of anything that is too risky.
I like your thought, that we make our own chances. We likely have a hand in our own fate, that its not entirely set in stone. I think the more open and more positive people are, the more likely they are to make their own chances. These are the so-called “lucky” people where everything good always happens to them. This goes along with the idea that what you put out to the universe, you get back.
That’s why it’s important to be nice to the universe
“Be good to the universe.” Too true, that!
There’s a quote I like, I can’t remember where it’s from now, but it says “When you are faced with a decision, make it to the best of your ability and then forget it, the moment of absolute certainty never arrives”. That’s the quote that helps me to not regret decisions made in the past, you can only ever make decisions based on what you know, or how you feel, at the time, and you can never know what would have happened if you had made a different decision. If you believe in parallel universes, then another you somewhere else made the other decision, would we really want to know how they got on? What would it achieve? Like Anne says, it’s like Sliding Doors, and it’s really interesting to think what might have been different, but we really can never know!
In terms of new opportunities, I always think a good balance between logical thought and gut feeling is the best approach, remembering that the moment of absolute certainty never arrives…
Hi Vanessa,
That’s a great stabilizing, grounding quote. Regret is a terrible monster to live with, and I learned a long time ago that regret isn’t worth the trouble. There is no point in living *if only I…*
Yes, taking the time to examine the opportunity in order to help you make the best decision is all we can really ask of ourselves. There is no way of knowing, and that is hard to handle sometimes, but really it is the mystery, the not knowing that is why we’re faced with choices at all. If it were easy, we wouldn’t care about our futures, our lives as much because the chance to improve or grow would already be decided.
yes
After many, many years of listening to my brain in making decisions, I finally started listening to my gut AND my brain. Intuition can be a powerful thing, but too many times we stifle it. That doesn’t mean we’re free to make decisions that are foolish–we still have to use our brains–but we need to be sure to listen to that little voice inside of us. It’s often right.
Hi Carrie,
Oh, that’s great! Simple and great. That little voice often pops up and tells me what’s really going on. I ignore it because it’s little and everything, and then I realize (when it’s too late) that the little voice was right. I need to heed that little voice more often.
Thanks for stopping by!
Excellent post, Kathryn. Although you can point to an obvious opportunity, I wonder how many subtle opportunities have opened or closed to us in the past, without our awareness. What we viewed as trivial might in fact have been the catalyst that triggered a butterfly effect, bringing us to where we are now.
Adversely, by refusing or denying such a catalyst, how different could things have been?
I know I’m going to go crazy thinking about this stuff now…,
Hey Darren,
Haha, yeah, I wonder how many subtle opportunities just passed me by in this month alone? We could spend days wondering about all the little things that really made a difference to our lives, and all the little things that didn’t matter a whit. Life really is a mosaic of small moments that led us either to great and wonderful or in the opposite direction.
Yeah, I wondered if this topic would make someone itch a little bit.
Well said. I’m not one to look back and regret too much; I’ve seen others who do that too much and they are miserable…and I never wanted to be like that. So I mostly focus ahead…and when I realize I missed out on something in the past, I try real hard to shrug my shoulders and say, “Oh well! What’s next?”
Hey Char, you’re right. I know a few people who dwell on the past, on mistakes, things done wrong, and they are miserable creatures. It’s a horrible way to spend life. I like your attitude, and I think most people could use more of a lighthearted approach to lost opportunities. Something else will come around, and we just have to try harder next time.
Thanks for swinging by!
I’m going to take this opportunity…
to ask you where you got that great photo. It went so nicely with your post. I have trouble with finding good photos. I’d given up, but am ready to try again, so I’m pestering people for advice/resources when I see ones I like
Yes, opportunity is a tough one. It’s like having kids. There’s never really a “good” time, there’s just times that are less-bad. After all, your kids are going to be impacting the rest of your life – and how much time you live before you have them also impacts them (how much money/energy/health do you have?). There’s truly no ideal, perfect situation – except that oodles of money scenario I suppose.
Hey Shannon,
Haha, good one. Um, I think I got the photo from Microsoft Clip Art, and I should have actually cited that on the photo. I’ll be sure to fix that, so Microsoft gets its recognition.
Right, kids make decisions a little dicey because now you’re factoring in little people who can’t take care of themselves, and who are affected by your choices by default. I said in a previous comment that family tends to impact my decisions and that I ultimately make the choice that benefits them, not necessarily myself. Except for writing, my one *vice*.
Thanks for stopping by.
Hmmm… I was actually thinking of the decision to HAVE kids (or have more).
Ohh! I misunderstood, I thought you meant having them around, lol. But yes! Absolutely. That is probably the biggest decision to make because it’s a lifetime decision.
Wonderful post…and so true: throw open the door! Even if you weren’t expecting anyone (or anything!) to show up
Usually the best opportunities present themselves precisely at that time!
Hey there,
Right on. As hard as it might be, living fully means taking advantage of all possible moments. ‘Cause you just never know…
Thanks for swinging by.
This gives me a lot to think about, Kate. I’ve missed an opportunity I will always regret, and I am working on getting it back again, but at the time it was overwhelming and I didn’t trust myself. I had a lot of people telling me I couldn’t do it, so I’m learning to listen to myself.
Hi Kate,
Those are hard to overcome, the big ones where you know deep down everything in your life would have changed. I understand the overwhelming bit and the distrust. I wish people would shut their mouths, though, when it comes to the ability of someone else. They don’t know, not truly, and to stop someone from achieving a goal ticks me off.
I’m super glad that you are trying for it again. I have been in much the same position, Kate, and I, like you, decided to listen to myself and try to achieve that one goal I missed.
Good luck with everything. You know I’m rooting for you.
Opportunity? You mean there is opportunity out there? For an unpublished writer? Yikes! I better get busy!
You know it, girlfriend. Get that Strong Word vs Weak Word book published, pronto!
I’m working on it!
good girl
It’s so true what you say about not always recognising opportunities. I’m sure that I’ve missed loads over my life time. I’m just not too good at recognising them
Xx
Hi Vikki,
I think with practice we certainly get better at recognizing opportunities, but they are so fleet of foot that if we don’t jump on them right away, they’re gone.
For me, I have begun just recently to notice that opportunity usually presents itself when I am flat-out busy and I seemingly can’t take advantage. Something like the toughest decisions to make are generally the best ones. So, if you keep your eyes and heart open when you are the least ready to take on something new, then whatever comes along is what you should jump on.
At least, that’s my humble advice.
Thanks honey
I think I just have to keep my eyes open and not walk round like a zombie most of the time lol
Xx
Funny you would bring this up now. I am currently contemplating a writing opportunity that would fall outside my “chosen genre” but is still in an area I am interested in. It would give me published worked. However, as you pointed out, the issue is time. I think that I can squeeze it in as it would be freelance for a periodical. I’m currently waiting to see what the requirements are before I lean one way or the other. You may hear more on this later.
Wow, Dennis, that is wonderful news. A pubishing opportunity. I understand your dilemma. I actually am going through a similar conundrum, asked to write something that is out of my genre. But I don’t have a guarantee that it will be published.
I definitely want you to keep me posted on this.
I will do that and you let me know how your opportunity plays out.
I have missed opportunities but made a decision this year to start leaping at opportunities. It changed my life. I am now that little girl looking down the road and thinking “what’s next. Bring it on!” rather than cowering in fear of success. It is an amazing place to be.
HI Jennifer,
I think that was the way it was for me, too. You have to consciously make a decision that you’re going to follow through, and not, like you say, cower in fear of success–or whatever the fear might be.
Thanks for commenting.
I believe it’s okay to miss an opportunity or ten. We should always weigh the pros and cons of opportunities. We often look back at opportunities when we are daydreaming, or when we are not satisified with our present life. It’s okay to do that sometimes. It’s not a bad thing to reflect on life.
It’s not healthy to dwell on past opportunities we didn’t take, even if we had chickened-out. Once it’s gone. It’s gone. Opportunites are just pathways in life. Ha, but I’m glad I took the opportunity to participate in Coach’s discussion. I wouldn’t be learning so much about bloging, and I probably would not have read “My Sisiter’s Keeper” so early. To this day, I still don’t know why I read it so fast.
We will never know what the outcomes of coulda, woulda, shoulda, so don’t worry about’ em I say. Yeah, easier said than done.
I guess though, if we feel like opportunities are getting away from us, we should change that, start catching the opportunities, and making good use of them.
I’ll admit, I have many opportunities that I didn’t take, because I was a chickenhead, and I regret everyone one of them, but I still press on. Hey we’re writers, we can always write about it.
Hey Brian! Good to see you again, or rather, hear you again.
I like your “come as it may” attitude, because I think that helps stave off the regret. But you’re right, we must press on even if we miss out on something amazing. When the regret comes, I try to tell myself that it just wasn’t my time, I wasn’t ready, and if I work harder or something, another opportunity will arise and I can go for that one instead.
Haha, yes, we can always write about it. That’s actually a great way of looking at it, and proactive too.
Thanks for swinging by!
Coach
Seek out opportunities and take risks! Sometimes it’s the fear of failure that stops you. Lose the fear – we have to fail in order to succeed….that’s my thought for the day.
Hi Woman!
I love your thought of the day. I think it’s an important one to always keep in mind as we strive for goals. Thanks for commenting.
I’ve always been more courageous in my professional life than my personal life. Some of my biggest regrets come from not kissing someone or not ending something when I should have. Hindsight is a real ass kicker. I don’t believe that opportunities keep presenting themselves until you take them. Many times, there is just one opening. One moment. One chance. And when it’s gone, it’s gone. That’s the hard part. Realizing I let those opportunities go without realizing how much they meant.
Hi Kourtney,
I think that’s probably true for a lot of people. There seems to be more risk involved with our personal endeavors, because our hearts are so involved. That’s not to say our hearts aren’t involved in our professional goals, but many of us can be logical in our professional lives, which balances the emotions.
I understand what you mean about only getting the one chance. Yes, in some cases, there probably is just the one chance–like that guy in college you couldn’t get up the nerve to meet. Then he’s gone and you never, ever see him again.
But I think more often than not, multiple chances are available to you, but they come in different forms over a long span of time, with lots of gaps in between each occurance. I think about chances to have children, or to save a marriage, or to go back to school, or to be an author.
What makes it hard is that oftentimes we don’t recognize an opportunity for what it is, so it flits by without us even noticing.
Thanks for commenting!
Hey Kathryn,
Most of the opportunities missed I only recognized in hindsight – I didn’t realize them at the time. I wish I wasn’t so single-minded and followed my heart more. I do that NOW but I wish I’d learned it earlier =)
Hi Nancy,
Yes, hindsight is 20/20, right? Losing out can be painful, but those are lessons that shape us as we grow and I think you’re right–now, later in life we are more likely to take risks because we know what would happen if we didn’t at least try. At least, that’s true for those of us who missed out. There are lots of people who live fully all their lives, with few regrets if any.
Thanks for swinging by!
I am quite curious as to what opportunity you passed on 15 years ago. And you’re absolutely right in that long term is more important than short term. Personally I cannot recall any missed opportunities. I tend to jump on them whenever they present themselves (without much regard for the consequences.) Been doing great so far! … so far…
You’re smart to jump on opportunities, Fredrik. That explains why you’re so far along in your writing journey! I’m sure you’ll keep doing just fine.
Great post. I’ve made some poor choices too, but I think the thing is to learn from them, and look forward. Make your own opportunities.
Hi Naomi, I love that, make your own opportunities. It’s like making your own luck, which I believe is possible. Thanks for swinging by.
beautifully said…..
Thank you so much!
Glad you stopped by to read. Have a wonderful day.
Reblogged this on EMPOWERED RESULTS ~ Creating A Difference In Our Communities… and commented:
This is a beautiful post that I wanted to share with you, my dear Readers and Following Friends! What do you think? Can you relate? I know I can…Enjoy the holiday!
Thanks for the reblog!
I definitely think I missed some good opportunities, but I also avoided some bad ones. Great post!
Haha, and that’s the trick isn’t it. To tell the difference ahead of time. Now, wouldn’t that be a gold mine…
A beautifully written and wise post. I think that when I look back at missed opportunities, I realise that if I had grasped them, I wouldn’t have had the particular child that I have and that says it all.
That’s a nice realization, loony. Probably the best kind there is.
Most definitely.