Sunday Spin – Growing Up

Welcome to Sunday Spin where I talk about life beyond writing.

My daughter is 9 1/2 years old. She still believes in Santa Claus, fairies, and magic. She still plays with her Disney princess dolls and dresses up. I love this part of life, the innocence and purity and seeing the world through a child’s eyes.

When she asks about where babies come from, I’m honest–kinda. I don’t use the famed Stork story, but I haven’t told her about the birds and the bees either. She is satisfied to know that God blesses a woman with a baby, tucking it away in the mommy’s tummy to keep it safe and warm and protected until it’s time to greet the bigger world.

I realize this limited version is not going to satiate her curiosity much longer. The last thing I want is for her to hear the truth from a peer, which is how one of my friend’s daughters learned the truth about babies. That 10-year-old girl is so horrified, so traumatized, she refused to discuss the subject when her mother did sit down with her.

This is what I’m afraid of:

I’m afraid of losing my little girl.

I’m afraid that the minute she knows the truth about puberty and sex, that she’ll pack up all the make-believe.

I’m afraid she’ll discover the real Santa.

I’m afraid she’ll stop peering in tree crevices in hopes of spying a fairy.

I’m afraid she’ll stop playing with her little brother who is 7 and dotes on her.

I’m afraid she won’t want to snuggle with me during movie night.

Maybe I’m being melodramatic–I am a writer after all. Still, I must face the music and sit her down and tell her what she has to look forward to while still encouraging her to remain true to her spirit. To continue embracing the parts of life that make her sing out loud to her stuffed animals.

What about you? How have you handled your child’s looming maturity? Any suggestions on how to broach the subject?

Making Magic

Wing ideas through space

Words combust into story

Writers make magic

As a kid, I was pretty content with the way the world was until one day I learned that sometimes the truth is in disguise, misused, and nothing would be the way I wanted it again.  That was probably around the time I lost my innocence, my faith, my belief that goodness would always prevail. To turn the world right-side-up, I’d have to change events, change people, change outcomes. That would have been impossible.

So I wrote it instead.

There is no guarantee that what I write will matter to anyone else. Creating is a risky endeavor because artists bare their souls to the world. Not everyone in the audience will like what they see. They might turn away in disgust or derision, and the artist will be shamed. Some artists quit at that point; others trudge onward. Why is that? What makes one artist throw his tools into the deep beyond, forever lost while another artist creates again?

I write because I want to believe in something. I love the feel of a story, how it unravels in my imagination, how it raises questions and concerns and hope. Without story, without the opportunity to believe in something, we are left with only one chance. A sort of Russian roulette, where no one contemplates consequences, choices, or difference-making.  When I write, that’s my opportunity to speak up, answer impossible questions, change truth, evoke hope.

My ideas, dreams, wishes, insteads, and what ifs are lyrical on paper, tingle in my throat, give me something to believe in. Even if it is all a lie. It is a lie I am bound and determined to pull off.

Have you ever looked at a page of your writing, I mean, really looked—and pictured yourself as you were when you first wrote those words? What meaning did they hold for you? Has that meaning changed? Were you immersed in that particular spot in your story, or were you distracted? Can you determine, by reading those words, how you conjured them in the first place? How you felt when you committed them to paper? Did you throw them together because you were tired or feeling blocked, or did you carefully cultivate them?

I read passages I wrote years ago which hurl me back in time, to the exact moment I put them down on paper. I remember how I felt when I came up with those ideas. How joyful I felt, surprised, spellbound. Writing a story is my soul making magic. To write a moment that matters makes me want to do it again. To write a scene and see it five drafts later, still breathing, still moving the story forward, makes me want to do it again. To write something to believe in is all I need to

do it again.